Archived 12-27-03

“One HELL of a Good Time”

By Larry John

I was out with some friends the other night and we were talking about “pragmatic thinking things.”  We talked about everything from politics to religion (I always try to stay away from any subject that may end in an argument). It was at this most importuned time that I decided to bring up a “what if” that I had been thinking about for some time. Here is what I think. I think that we live in HELL and we don’t know it.

Yes, I think that perhaps this is HELL, which gives new meaning to “be in the world but not of it.” What if this were God’s big joke?  What if we were in HELL all along? What if we were in the very place we don’t want to go? What if the only thing we were doing here in HELL was trying to get out?

Wouldn’t it be funny if God appeared to us and reveled that “he didn’t want us to find out this way… but someone leaked the news… and hey… you are in HELL.” Then he would continue, “Now that’s the bad news, but here’s the good news. You can get the HELL out of here.” To which we would all say, “How the HELL can we do that?” To which he would say, “You have to THINK your way out of HELL. It is your stupid thinking that is keeping you here. If you want to get out of HELL, get the HELL out of you. In this earthly “land of opposites and polarities” you can’t get to Heaven unless you get the HELL out. It’s all about your stupid, silly thinking. What if there were no HELL at all? What if all there was was Heaven, but your stupid thinking kept you in HELL. And even when you died a physical death, you would be reincarnated back to HELL until you ‘got it right’. RIGHT thinking gets you out of HELL and into Heaven.” To which we would logically question, “So what is stupid thinking?”

God would then giggle a little and reply, “ OK little brain…here is what I call stupid thinking. You have heard that I have said ‘Judge not that you be not judged’. What that really means is that you really shouldn’t judge anything or anybody, or you can’t be happy, And to be happy and full of joy is just another word for Heaven. Heaven is RIGHT thinking… not a place. This thing you small minds do called judging or comparing really messes up your happiness. The reason is that when you judge, you are really judging yourself. In HELL, the land of opposites or polarities, you are always trying to look at things as if they were good OR bad, hot OR cold, big OR small, good OR evil, friend OR foe, cute OR ugly, smart OR dumb, rich OR poor, happy OR sad, righteous OR sinful, right OR wrong, etc. The fact of the matter is… this is stupid thinking. There is nothing that is inherently good or bad. I created everything. Everything! Things just ARE. I don’t make mistakes. When I create something…IT IS. It is all how YOU THINK that determines good OR bad, right OR wrong. That is not how I think. Here is how I think.  IT IS…I AM…YOU ARE… and that’s it!” Heaven is the land beyond good and evil, good and bad, right and wrong. In Heaven things just ARE. That’s how we think in Heaven. The lion lies down with the lamb…remember. I mean look at it this way. Is water good or bad? It is neither. It just IS. Depending on the use of water it can be either, I know. But the fact of the matter is not that water is good or bad, but it just depends on how you look at it. Like when I create a hurricane, that may be ‘bad’ for the homes and people it effects, but good for the ocean life and environment, because it regenerates life and food and cleans the air. Get it? When a person drowns in a swimming pool, does that make the swimming pool bad? Should I command you to stop swimming? Does the drowning make the water bad?  Should I command you to stop drinking the stuff? No, of course not! Things and people just ARE. But when you judge things and people, you judge yourself and the hardest thing to do is LOVE yourself. So don’t judge. It is stupid. Don’t make it harder to get out of HELL. Hey, even Jesus is worthless in this land of opposites and polarities without Satan. Jesus needs Satan to be needed. Silly isn’t it. Things and people just ARE. Like I told you before, IT IS…I AM…YOU ARE… and that’s it!”

At this point we stupid humans would probably say, “What the HELL are you talking about?”  To which God would say, “That’s why I hate talking to you. You never listen. YOU ARE IN HELL.  It is hard to understand what I am saying when you are using your HELL-like thinking. And the only way to get out of HELL is to stop thinking like people do in HELL and start thinking like I do. IT IS…I AM…YOU ARE… and that’s it!”  Judge nothing, nada, no one, zip, zero, not even a little. If you keep judging you will keep living in this land of opposites or polarities, and you will be in HELL the rest of your lives. HELL is the way you think… it is NOT a place. Heaven is the way you think… it is NOT a place. You decide.”

And then we counter back with, “Oh, come on God, are you telling me that I am the one who chooses to live in Heaven or HELL? You, God, don’t have anything to do with it?” To which God smiles and nods his head and says, “Yep.” 

“WOW”, we say. “We will have to think about this.”

To which God replies,  “That’s the whole point. Think about it!”